Ah

November 22, 2010

Control.

I had a great show last night at the Coffee Gallery, the magic of playing music with Forrest is developing, taking shape, evolving. A language, rich, textured, drum hits, rhythms melding to the strings, the sounds, the voice, it’s alive. It’s music.

Standing up on the stage I feel this immense gratitude towards the people who dared to leave their homes and leaving their TVs and computers behind to experience a 3D artistic experience as Steve would say. What a gift.

Control.

As I play, the fingers go, the voice goes, the body goes, words, notes, sounds, there are fine lines drawn, meshing the comfort, the daring, the knowing, the unknown. Volume. Tone. Delay. Phase. The room, the travel of sound waves. Faces look up. Eyes closed. Bodies sway, or don’t. The core of the reactor is ignited and the momentum accelerates. This electron finds a matrix. exists.

a song a path, a road. A destination with a map. Curves, warnings, speed limit, accidents, surprises. The reaching of souls. the understanding. Communication.

Control.

My face moves, involuntary muscle contractions. Sweat runs. The body of the guitar is slippery. A quick re-arrangement of the position of the guitar. The pick moves between the two fingers, a string is hit and resonates, unwanted tone amidst a tight chord but there it is. “Celebrate it” as Perry would say. Breathe. Let go. Plunge in unknown waters and trust fate.

Control.

I finished the set, it felt like people were ready for it to stop. Then I heard “Done already? No!” but half the equipment was unplugged already. Then it was a fun, beautiful series of conversations, laughter, hugs, going nuts and just being there unapologetically happy. I love this place, it’s people.

Control.

My travels took me right to this moment in time. The unplanned, unprepared, goalless trip brought me to this moment. Unexpected meeting, recognitions of souls up on the Angeles mountain. Meeting Forrest was almost an accident. He was about to leave. He stayed. We played music. It connected. Oh the magic that has revealed itself. Perfectly unplanned.

Control.

This morning my body was tired. My head still smiling from the fun I had the previous night. I made my special blueberry pancakes, then went for a walk thinking of possibilities. The wind was crisp, bulky clouds floated above, some white some gray, every plant drenched by the massive amounts of rain that have dropped from the skies over the last 24 hours. Each step makes me feel the pavement as I wear thin soled shoes, must walk lightly. Look around. straighten the spine towards the heavens. I am in California. I am in the midst of endless possibilities.

Then I came back and checked my email.

Control.

Tie with barbed wire the unbound. Excise the light with a sharp scalpel. Judge. Invalidate. Build a cage of steel and cement, mark the boundaries, set a ceiling, accept scarcity. Nailing a butterfly to a board so to own it. Crucify an innocent to appease fear and desire.

I sighed.

So. Sighs or not. Here is the test : let it go. Let it be. Be true. And keep making music.

Fuck control. It’s the tool of the weak.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Ah”

  1. Steve Slaughter Says:

    I read this early (even before coffee)… I had regretted missing the performance on Saturday but now in the reading, I begin to realize that this… THIS is the performance. I had just taken a different seat at the show.

  2. Steve Slaughter Says:

    “Build a cage of steel and cement, mark the boundaries, set a ceiling, accept scarcity. ”

    If a barrier is not acceptable and cannot be passed-by, it must be destroyed. A warrior would see these not as boundaries, but as TARGETS. Sometimes a different point of view is called for.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: