Big moon. Big songs. Big smile.

March 19, 2011

Saturday morning,

We had another late night last night we worked until 4 AM or so mixing the song : Do You See Me? And oh my, it is sounding so good.

I wrote the song conversing with a photograph, no I won’t tell you what or who is on that picture… (gotta keep some secrets you know) It was a little while after seeing the movie Avatar. In the movie the creatures would say : “I see you” as a succinct way to say “I love you, understand you, acknowledge you.” That phrase to me was all encompassing, it was true communication which we so sorely miss in our lives. That had stuck with me.

So when I was writing that song, I would look at the image and say : Do you see me?

The song starts with this verse :

Tonight I’ll dream again
So close, then all is gone.
I run and then I fall
Mud on my face I call…

And I repeat the same verse… I kept worrying that form wise I should have another verse, different words, not repeat this same one twice. And try as I may, I could not, or would not come up with another one. I felt torn between the technical “Should” and the instinctual “Must”. All through the recording, each time I played it, then listening to it… the question remained.

So last night as Perry was working on the mix and I was sitting in the back row listening to the song go by over and over… It hit me. It was perfect, it was the way it had to be to make sense…

“Tonight I’ll dream again…” I sing the verse once, then it starts all over “Tonight I’ll dream again…” Of course! It repeats itself over and over again, like one of those dreams… I was seeing it for the first time and it was mind blowing! I had to repeat it. It was the nature itself of the illusion.

Then there is two more verses, a false ending and a reprise into a groove. That form was “it” when I wrote the song. I could not explain why I made those choices, it’s one of those creative decisions that you hang on to with dear life without actually knowing why. Later I had questioned my decisions. Is this OK? Should I have done things differently? This is not quite technically correct, have I gone far enough with this song, maybe I dropped the ball…

These decisions and parts revealed themselves as true and right. I may even dare to say “perfect”. What an incredible feeling to see it all come to life and validated in front of my eyes and ears.

The act of writing, creating. The mystery. You follow a trail, get far into the woods and before you know it something takes a hold of your mind, heart and abilities and brings itself to life through you. You fumble blind, taking a hold of certain elements and structures to keep equilibrium, choosing them by sheer instinct, not necessarily logic. Then once the work is completed the revelations begin, as if it you were receiving it for the first time.

So we continue on. Perry is absolutely on track with the sounds and with the spirit of what we are doing. We were discussing that last night. How all the elements created to this point are coalescing without duress. Naturally.

I am so grateful as it is truly a privilege and an immense joy to be able to get to this point, to have the help, support, inspiration and talented people around me to make this come true.

What a road…

Tonight we are supposed to have in the skies the biggest full moon in a long time. It’s perfect. The moon has been part of this project from the beginning when it hung in the sky one summer night it was bloodied and I wrote one of the first songs about that moon. It is in “Your Vibe” It also is in “Do You See Me”. When we were here last September there was the harvest moon and Jupiter I think. Go out if you can and say hi to her today or tonight, and for a moment we’ll all be connected.

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