May the Force be with you

June 7, 2011

at the Vancouver public library

yes i know, I have not written much lately.

The sun finally appeared, the air finally warmed a bit so we’re above 50 degrees F and I have not had to wear the heated vest for a few days.

Detours.

They can make you angry. You look at the clock and you swear. The heart races. You had a perfectly laid plan but suddenly there is a big ugly orange sign with black arrows and big bold letters telling you’re not to go the way you wanted. You must follow the signs. Take a route someone else designed.

As you fume the peripheral vision narrows.

Time flies and time rules. Life like an episode of 24. Where is Jack when you need him?

But is it about time or more about viewpoint? Like sitting in the classroom. Looking at the clock. Sit some more for what seems to be an eternity. Looking at the clock again and it barely moved 3 minutes. Eternity measured : 3 minutes.

or the time you carved stone and you got so into it… working the angles, the emotion in that curve. Polish, polish, Oh… the love you put in that piece of stone. At some point you look at the clock because you do feel suddenly hungry and 6 hours went by. What is eternity when you do something with love?

labor of love

I sat in yet another cafe today. The smell of marijuana wafted from the park across the street. Such a common thing around here. I never was into the wacky tabacky so it always seems weird that so many like that stuff. I guess many like McDonald’s too… It’s Hockey Fever big time in Vancouver right now. Canucks fever. The blue and green flags, t-shirts, hats, jerseys, towels are everywhere. It’s actually the calm before the storm. When they play, you can walk the busiest streets and they are deserted. As if everyone was at church. Glued to a screen somewhere following the valiant heroes.

a canuck bear

They actually lost tonight… dreadful : 8 to 1. Sedin said : “we’re not sharp enough”. We will see who will conquer. I wish them the cup.

So yeah, Vancouver, June 2011. A record wet and cold spring, a summer that maybe arrived a couple of days ago. It’s still cool though. People here call this hot… today I could smell the ocean around 6th and Ontario. Big breezes rolling in. so it’s sunny but windy. The grass grows like mad after all that rain… Today I picked up blown balloons on #3 Road in Richmond. filled some balloons, sanded and painted a wood table, Tomorrow, I’ll wash the inside of the Inflated Ideas van, help with more balloons then I will go help a friend. The nanny had to go and there is laundry to fold, so I’ll get a few bucks and dinner.

But it’s all good. Menial jobs and all because I feel the purpose. The FORCE. it’s back. I’m back… I’m getting to the end of this detour.

I am learning once more that I cannot live and fight. When I fight I lose. I have to live and love. And it’s a damn hard lesson to absorb at times. I scream and cry and yell out at this indifferent world. Pound at a door no-one cares to open. The fear comes in like a Japanese tsunami… Unstoppable.

Yes, fighting life is like trying to stop a tsunami.

Drop the sword Joan of Arc. All the horses and all the armies and all the weapons cannot stop what fear sets in motion.

So.

The sun shines. I have a place to stay with an exceptional lady. I got Beowulf’s steering head bearings fixed and new oil in the forks.

Beowulf getting some tlc

I got work here and there and more possibly coming. I got my guitar. I got the will to learn. I got a huge list of songs to sing and I’m learning a few more for good measure and in less than 20 days i will head out on the road. I am looking forward to it. I am patiently getting to that moment.

Mom said to me to follow my heart. I will listen to mom. I am going to get home.

Leo, always there for the ride

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