Rumi’s words reaching

December 1, 2011

 

December first,

Once more I get this “how can this be?” thought about the speed of time flying by and all of the coincidences that got me to sit here on the eastern side of the continent awaiting the next snow.

Time… it seems to go so fast, then so slow. It vanishes yet stays with you. Like the ocean.

I can just see myself…. 80 years old, sitting at a keyboard somewhere, somehow wondering how I made it so far, looking back at the long thread of  life, still patiently accumulating days like knitting an endless scarf of so many colors.

Last night I read Rumi again. Rumi is a sufi poet, philosopher from the 13th century.   Every time I read Rumi, my heart lifts. He touches upon something I have been hunting, searching for.  Through his words, I glimpse into the grail…

On the road I approximated the quality of being he talks about I felt the hand of the Gods guiding me, I wasn’t the director of the movie but a vibrant, exalted actor deeply into the performance grateful to be a part of the cast, in a conscious trance, approaching a sort of imperfect perfection, finding peace in the current that carried me. Being exactly where I was meant to be without engineering every single move.

 

I have not been on the bike much at all lately, I have been closer to our well organized, cyclic, somewhat frantic societal grooves. What some would call REALITY.

Well… To be honest, and more accurate, let’s say that I’ve been orbiting fairly close to REALITY.  I’ve not landed and settle on it’s shores yet.   I’ve had the luxury to observe and ponder. Where do I go now?

Rumi has a poem in which he talks about the 4 birds one does not want to be : The rooster of lust, the peacock of wanting to be famous, the crow of ownership and the duck of urgency.   Sounds like modern society.

So as I loop around the earth at altitude I ask myself : what will I do when I land? Do I have to land? Or can I launch deeper into the far reaches of unknown galaxies?

 

More to the point is what can I dare dream? I have seen it over and over: what you believe, what you think acceptable, inevitable, is what happens to you. Good or bad.  It is a sick feeling indeed that you feel, the moment you realize that all was in your hands. The deck, the plays, the hits and the misses, they were all yours all along. To SEE, to realize with such vividness the simplicity of it and all the games you played with yourself not to SEE, to be right, to be blind. It is hard to swallow.  I remember such a moment.  The magnitude of it.

I wonder where should my steps take me?  What should I do?  But maybe a different question should be brought forward :  How open can I be so as to let my fate unravel unimpeded?

 

All my judgments, fears, pre-conceived notions, expected outcomes… Can I dismiss them? Can I be so open as to let magic flow through me without questions?  Like accepting curves and changes….  No, no, not accepting; willingly welcome them.  Like swiftly riding a bike on an unknown mountain road without touching the brakes, leaning forward and in the curves, trusting, hands light on the bars…  That is closer, truer.

At one time I had stopped playing guitar for almost 2 years. I was done…  One day, I was invited to play on a tour, I would sing my songs and also accompany 2 other singers on guitar… I went back and forth then said yes with a mantra of contributing, I was going in there not worrying about how many tickets, albums, seats we sold, if people liked me, if I was good enough… I was just going to contribute to the band, the show, the music, to load the van, set up the gear, be humble and help all around. Just contribute.  No ego.

On that trip, one night as we played this gorgeous venue I had a solo on a fairly intricate jazz song. I launched into and it happened. I disappeared. I mean the ego disappeared, I was a conduit. I felt the bolt of inspiration, of knowing going through my mind, hands, instrument and out into the world, it was a glorious moment of abandon, of unexplicable Truth.  The music was so beautiful. Real.  I had been touched by the Gods of music. I’ll never forget that. I believe it happened because I had surrendered.

I believe life can be lived like this. I know it can. There is just so much magic out there. If I can only just let the fear go, let the waters flow, so I can once more just be a molecule, or as I had written in New Mexico, a speck flying in perfect synch within, without and inside and out of this universe.

Game on.

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4 Responses to “Rumi’s words reaching”

  1. Danielle Liard Says:

    Love that quote from Sumi, where can I find more from him? 🙂
    Danielle


    • I have two books :
      Rumi Wisdom, daily teachings from the great Sufi Master by Timothy Freke

      and

      The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks

      Both books are great. Well, I think they are! Check Abebooks.com if you are on a budget, they offer used books for incredibly good prices.

  2. Lévis Says:

    Your world appears to be a mirror image of mine…
    fascinating… I love your ablity to put it into words…
    you have access to the “genius”… hang in there!
    xoxoxo


  3. Hey Levis,
    I noticed that fact here and there, the parallel course. I have been following your story and have been in awe of your strength and courage and wisdom through it all. Your constant wonder with the world and it’s beauty is an inspiration.
    xxxxxx


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