Beautiful day of yet more gifts

February 28, 2013

The days go by so full with possibilities.

I have been working on this grant proposal for my trip to Turkey for weeks now.  There were a few derailments of plans when I learned I had to submit things recorded in the last 24 months, then when the first recording revealed itself not up to par, then I got super sick, then Forrest who is helping me with this thing became super busy.

Today the Gods granted us a break, freeing him a day ahead of schedule so he could come and record and they allowed me a good head space, something vital when you record as it is like a mirror.

The deadline?  March 01.  Which means by February 28th all has to be ready, I have experienced last minute deals where suddenly something like your printer won’t work, the files won’t upload to the receiving server or some sort of voodoo to make your blood pressure rise and your nerves crackle like rice crispies.

And I could be doing all this for naught, in the sense that the proposal may not be accepted.  But in all truth it’s not for naught.  There has been many good things for me and for Forrest that have happened because of this deadline.  Pushing the boundaries, daring, creating, daring and trusting.  In short, lots of living the good life, fighting the good fight.  To dare trusting that it will all work out.  To know that all is “perfect.”

gifted hands

gifted hands

 

gifted man

gifted man

 

the instrument that came as a gift, all the way from Turkey

the instrument that came as a gift, all the way from Turkey

 

the gift of inspiration that brought the song

the gift of inspiration that brought the song

 

In a way, it’s all in day’s work and I could just brush it off as “something I did” or “something I had to do” but it’s more than that.  Every day these days, every conversation, every beautiful face, make me feel so blessed.  The sound of the bike’s engine, the sun shining day in and day out, oh how I need that light…  the hummingbirds zooming by the window, the coyotes yelping in the middle of the night, right by my window, yes, in the middle of civilization.

The day after tomorrow, all the plays will have been played with this grant, then I’ll put together the Crowdfunding site and hope with all my heart that it is successful.

This morning, as I was having breakfast looking at the latest exploits of my Facebook friends, I fell upon a video, Allan Watts.  Wow, that took me back some decades, in CEGEP St Laurent, first year student, philosophy class, we were then studying “The art of life” one of his books.  I remember the huge impact it had on me.

There he was, talking to us, “What if money was of no concern?” he asked.  He said the students they asked the question to all answered such things: ” I’d be a poet, a musician, I’d give horseback riding lessons…”  And he then said how most of us live a life we don’t want, raise our children to live lives they don’t want…  He said the most important question we should ask ourselves is “What do I desire?”  And the only thing we truly have is right now.

And I asked myself how happy I was with my life.  And my answer is that it’s not perfect, but I am staying true, so I am quite blessed.   I managed to stay true to myself, true to my wishes, dreams and desires.  True to the callings that stir my soul, even when I am not sure where they are taking me.  Like Turkey, like the saz, like music, like California, like the bike.

I am getting ready to head out into the great unknown.  I am ready to open up heart, soul, hands, mind.  I am ready to look up and say once more : “I am yours, show me the way, teach me the lessons.”   Oh the learning that will come.   I can’t wait.

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