Near missing

February 13, 2014

A94

Days and days, they run, they trip, spill, splatter, get up and run faster…
Days that rise out of the dawn with claws
Days that rise out of the dawn so softly
Days that skip the day altogether to blend into the night and go on endlessly
Days and hours
Days and faces,
Melting,
life a foundry where the heat keeps all shapes constantly shifting.

Was it a week ago?
Yeah,
it was

I play, I paint, drink a cafe, eat a simit.
All these beings, my friends
I love.

Last night I reunited with my bağlama
and I had missed it so.
It fed me, elixir, potion, healing drink

Missing…
Missing is interesting, these days
I don’t know I am missing something or someone until I am reunited.
So is this about missing or not?
Missing should be a longing that goes on and on, nudging over and over; sticking a foot out and making you fall.
“Hey, hey, don’t you feel sad?
Hey, hey, so and so is not close by… so and so is gone from you
Hey, hey, an emotional limb is missing…”

Have I learned to not miss?
Or
Is it that nothing is ever lost?
Can anything ever be lost?
A good question.

Parallel, horizontal, vertical. Geometric and predictable.
Torn, mixed, curved, lace like and unpredictable.
The patchwork of this whole interconnected thing that is our oneness, all of you’s and I’s oneness
This warm blanket of life.

Finished another espresso.
I study my thoughts.
How am I today?
How are you today?

It could be anything we decide, is it not?
A choice of feeling good or feeling off.

The sun shines, it’s spring like.
I have no plans beyond the next 24 hours.
All is good.

A99

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