February 28, 2014



Cool air but sun.


It feels hopeful. Very much so.


My mom went under the knife yesterday… It is the wee morning hours over there now… Last night I suddenly had a fearful vision as I was falling asleep, hopefully it was just my worries and nothing serious.

I am very far away from her home in Quebec, so very far away. Yesterday I put a request for good thoughts and vibes on Facebook and the messages that came in were so beautiful, so moving. From all over the world, Greece, Turkey, USA, Canada, Holland all these good wishes, prayers and support came for my mother. I hope she sees these. All this good energy, nothing can go wrong…


So the sun shines now. The air is cold. It is a beautiful morning that followed a beautiful night. Yesterday I worked on that murale at Chillout. I am happy to report that it is getting done. For a while this was a wall of pain and doubt as all my attempts miserably failed with bad paint… I thought I would finish yesterday but not quite.  There are still some details to tend to, then varnish.

The turmoil at Chillout ended. Many changes are actually taking place there, like the end of an era as many will leave for Kabak, the new acquisition, a kind of retreat near the Aegean sea.  I have been living at Meron’s and going to work on this painting all week. Yesterday was so peaceful, when the work goes well, I find a real joy in just painting away and simply being. The events of the last week have taught me a lot about myself… I ask for knowledge and I get the lessons. Always. The room I am working on is booked for the next 6 days or so, so I will take this time off. I really need to rest, replenish, think and also organize some things, like the travel arrangements to Crete. Mehmet  Can asked me when I was moving back into Chillout…. I had just told my manager a few hours prior that I was likely not coming back, it felt like the end of an era… I dunno.  I need to first take the time off then see what my heart says.  

Yeah, Crete, I am going there for the first week of April for a week long bağlama workshop, then I might stay for a few more days. I saw photos of the place two days ago and I was speechless… it is incredibly beautiful. It will be like falling of the face of the earth going from Beyoğlu to this island… complete opposites…  It feels important to go there somehow… we will see. 


This week I’ve had no shows… and that meant that I ran out of cash. Yeah, been living from show to show… thankfully I’ve had food, friends and I trust that all will be well.  Yesterday, a friend took me for a meal in a restaurant… I had beefsteak… It was the middle of the day and I had been working for a few hours when he said:

“I’ll take you for lunch, I want to buy you lunch…”

“Why?”  I asked.

“Because you deserve it.” He replied.  Deserve.  I always thought this a funny concept.  Deserving…  It rarely has to do anything with life.  But right now it’s incredibly sweet.  

He had promised me to cook me liver because of my anemia but since he could not cook, he took me for lunch. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I sat down and had the first bite of meat. It was so good. Life does that. It comes and gives you exactly what you need. Like a gift.  Then he got us sütlaç, a Turkish desert.  


Work wise I have been offered to paint a column at a bar. That would bring some money.  But I need to confirm that. If it goes ahead, that will be the money to go to Crete. The life of a bird. I trust.


Yesterday I had another bağlama lesson. So much finesse in the playing of this instrument. I love it.


Now is early, early for me that is: 10:13 AM. I had my coffee, my simit. All is well.   it is a fine day already.  


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