Miscellaneous thougths

March 9, 2014


Yesterday as I arrived at Galata there were two AKP minivans, blaring music that chanted the prime minister’s name as if he was a prophet, I heard this morning that one of these songs was stolen from the songwriter… it figures…

The representative for Beyoğlu gave a speech. He is one of these smiley faced fellows, constantly fisting up in victory, high fiving, grinning, showing a positive, widely spaced eyes face, wearing the fancy suits with the graying longish hair that speaks of liberalness, coolness and experience all at once… I was trying to just ignore it as he was doing his best to be charismatic and convincing. When he was done, he started to distribute red carnations to all attending in large generous motions, here! here! He ended up right in front of me, like, 10 feet away… All teeth and smiles he threw one flower at me… it landed on my laptop… everyone is smiling and jolly, “ha! ha! ha!” we are all blurting out like idiots. It was somewhat surreal. The fanfare was blasting in the background. The Great Election Circus. Yeehaw.

He wasn’t even gone yet that the cafe employees recycled the left behind flowers, cut the long stems and put them in the flower vases to embellish the cafe tables. Turkish practicality. They are still there today. Red stains, like blood. I think I can never look again at a red carnation with a neutral mind.

I felt grandly embarrassed to be handed these stupid gifts from a political party I do not endorse at all. All this smiling, all this patronizing, all this “generosity”… just a cheap shot at buying the affinity of voters. I can just imagine… “He’s such a “nice” fellow..” statements from the politically impaired. Please excuse my sarcasm… I just cannot help it.

What is even more grotesque is the difference of budgets between the parties. Seeing the output of pamphlets, ads, banners, flowers, trucks, gifts, staff, advertising, this one obviously has endless resources. Not such for the other parties, trust me. I have friends who were gifted fancy coffee grounds, goodies and more flowers, yes, red carnations… This morning I saw more of these red carnations littering Istiklal street all over. Pfff…

How much votes will these bribes purchase is a good question. If the population is as manipulated as the media is, it is a scary prospect.




Rain today. We need it, so I won’t complain. But I am cold and selfishly, I want the sun.

I played last night near my tower, at Atölye Kuledibi, it was a quiet night. I met a really great German couple. We chatted for a long time after the show. I love these meetings of like minds… such a joy.

And no, I did not play the new song. It didn’t feel that it was quite the right timing. I will likely play it Monday night as I am booked to play at Karakedi. Who knows, maybe I can get someone to video it… (this is for Danielle 😉 )

The third visual depiction of Eren and I while we play...  I love getting those...

The third visual depiction of Eren and I while we play… I love getting those…

I still have to get my guitar fixed, the intonation is way out.. my strings are two months old or more… but I hold back on buying a new set…

Oh and here’s an interesting one.. I got paid last night, the money was put in an envelope with a thank you on it and handed very nicely to me. Eren had left immediately after the gig because he had to get to Karakedi to work there some more. I stopped by to pay him, looked in the envelope, grabbed what I thought was one of two 100 lira bills. I was surprised at the amount and so glad, wow… a hundred each how nice! I found Eren by the door having a cigarette, I gave him the hundred… he said this was just fair, that he had talked to the guys there, asking for more money since it was Friday night…

I felt good to have this 100 lira I felt so, so rich! … Meron was at Karakedi and we decided to walk back home together On the way back we decided to get çorba, and there I was feeling so rich… I wanted to spend! Maybe I’ll get meat pide! Everything is possible! I thought…

As we sat there in the restaurant, I took the envelope from my bag and opened it to take that blue 100 lira bill. I looked in. It is not a 100 lira. It is 20 lira. What? How could I do this?? So we didn’t get 200, we got 120 for both which is 60 lira each which is what we normally have been getting… I stared at that 20 wondering how I could make such a mistake, the 20 is green, the 100 is blue… But after this initial surprise, a second surprise came: I didn’t care. At all. And that was the wildest one. Oh well, so be it I thought. That was a totally unexpected response since I myself have not made any money in the last ten days or so… But I truly, really didn’t care. I just shrugged. Felt maybe it was meant to be. Let it go.

And that takes me back to the conversation with the German couple. They were asking me about my plans, my career, what next? They did tell me they thought I was very talented and that means that I should be aiming for some sort of recognition in the pop or music world… And I told them that it is not something important to me. I told them about my path so far, about my spiritual journey, about the fact that I just enjoy playing to people who enjoy what I give. I told them that I cannot really play the “wanna be” game anymore and that seems to be the only option if you want to earn a living making music in the West. And I told them that my life was good as the God, Goddesses or the Universe, whatever you call it, has been providing. So I do not worry.

So, 100 lira, 20 lira… ($50 or $10) it’s currency. I’ll play Monday night, so I’ll have more then. It’s more than many have. It’s enough for my needs until then.


The dog keeps sauntering from people to people, it’s a young pup, maybe six months, all eager, all smiles. There is a guy grilling meat and making sandwiches, the dog stays close. People are grouped in circles of black overcoats topped by multiple umbrellas. Political banners fly overhead red, orange white, blue. Despite the rain the tourists still take photos of the tower in innumerable quantities.

Inside the cafe, the red cat weaves her way between human and table legs, charming, flirting with all customers and employees alike. She is a survivor. It is as if she knows to keep herself pretty and clean so she will get food and caresses. She was pregnant a couple of weeks ago… dunno where the babies are but she’s spending a lot of time here.


Today,I will practice I guess. I desperately need to do laundry. Maybe late tonight I’ll head to the hostel and do it. The mood there is one of relaxation. After all the craziness it is good. I am still debating what I should do. Go back or stay where I am until my trip to Greece. I need to go finish my painting. but that is just a day or two. In truth I would actually like to make more paintings but I’m not sure what’s the best decision health wise. I guess that if I wait long enough, it will decide itself out. What I really wish is to feel healed and strong, I think I need a whole week of sunshine to cleanse and nourish my body with sun electrons.


My new song… it’s good… I mean, sometimes you write them and then realize that they will stay in the thick book of the unsung glories. Last night after the gig, I played it to Meron, in the middle of the Istanbul night, quietly in the room there, sitting on the purple couch, I “performed” it for the first time to a set of human ears. It works, the song works. I woke up with it in my mind. I will adjust yet a few words. It always feels like such a gift to have a new song in my world.


dead building

dead building


One Response to “Miscellaneous thougths”

  1. Danielle Liard Says:

    😀 looking forward to it.


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