Game changer

May 7, 2014

a74

Sunny morning.

Istanbul.

There are all these choices. But choices don’t matter. Truth does, but the question rises:

What is truth?

Because at any moment, how I feel, what I know, what I think can be upended by an event, a cognition, a word. What we consider true is either a fickle thing or an unmovable, unbending opinion, judgment.

It can be so very hard to see clearly.
We make veils with feelings that we wrap around ourselves and then start to dance fancy tangos with our pride.

Is it then that all of our arrogance, conceit, disbelief, fears, quirks, ugliness, beauty, failures, victories and flaws all that we are, like it or not, has to be accepted by our own selves first, exactly as we are?

That nothing is there to be conquered, bettered or changed but just there to be experienced as gifted to us?

Is it that in this acceptance we can stop fighting and start enjoying this wondrous world through our senses, bodies, minds, perspectives?

Is it that we’ve all been made wrong from the get go and that we all live a lie that we’ve internalized so totally from so early it has become a hall of mirrors, of hallucinations of unconscious reactivity that are kept vivid by our unquestioning agreement with with mass media with social mores and perceived societal-cultural expectations? But what is this “society” anyways but the mental constructions we’ve made with the training we were given?

Oh and that one… the one we all long to find with such determination… Love with a big “L”, “the one” who would accept us completely, with all our arrogance, conceit, disbelief, fears, quirks, ugliness, beauty, failures, victories and flaws… when at the very core of it, this acceptance that we want to assign to the Lover is inescapably our own job.

Some days bring enlightenment, some days force us to see that we have to be flexible, some days bring a sobering of the mighty ego who so much wants to be right at all times and at any cost. That light if humbling, is freeing.

Every morning the choice lays there. What voice will you listen to?

The noise from the machine is loud.

The noise from fear is loud.

I’ve been looking at things from all sorts of angles. Life, culture, philosophy. I put myself “out there” outside the numbing and dulling this Matrix so I could untangle the bounds I had wrapped around myself. One moment I think I have attained some sort of blissful understanding the next I realize that I am just the same fallible human, I realize that the idea that one has reached a spiritual high-ground is just as ego driven as the materialist’s hunger. The thickness of the lies we will use to be right and righteous is wondrously creative.

Oh lover, lover do you love me? Oh how selfish I am!

Oh mother, mother won’t you hold me to your breast? Oh how selfish I am!

Oh world, world, won’t you give me the key to the kingdom? Oh how selfish I am!

And it’s probably OK.

The selfishness of the heart cells to remain as they were created allow the heart to pump blood and in the same line, the selfishness of all the organ’s cells make the body function. They are necessary to each other. And so they complete the work of art of this human body or any body or organism and then we have this world. One.

and it comes back to accepting, embracing, celebrating all our arrogance, conceit, disbelief, fears, quirks, ugliness, beauty, failures, victories and flaws…

Now imagine that: how and what you are being completely acceptable as is.

It’s a game changer.

It means you don’t need your existence to be justified by anything or anyone.

You just go on and “is”.

yea, just go on and be.

Period.

A21

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3 Responses to “Game changer”

  1. kymberlin Says:

    I really like the word ‘var’ in Turkish, and the way it’s used. ‘To exist’ is subtle-ly prominent… it describes the nature of something simply Being without contracts or justifications. We should all just ‘var’ in peace and love. 🙂

  2. Danielle Liard Says:

    Shakespeare said it well ‘To be or not to be, that is the question’. Everything else becomes refinement on it. Life is to be lived, or else what is the point of sticking around. To partly quote one line, ‘life is in you today, splurge on it’.

    much love

    Danielle

  3. Asbjorn Says:

    Seems like you are becoming an expert at being the “perfectly imperfect Danielle!”


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