September 20th, an update

September 20, 2014

Warm sun rays, gold stripes of light on the floor, the wonder of how many shades of white a wall can take when caressed by light and shadows. It is Saturday, I will play tonight. There is no one else around me in this cafe, everyone downstairs, the beige and brown chairs also display all shades of color pixels, the traces of the last occupant printed temporarily on the fabric. Horns blow outside and the usual particular hush of voices around the tower as the tourists line up to get inside.

Whadup? Much guitar playing. Joan inspired me and I keep his passionate musician’s words spur the fire of the love of the instrument. He spoke to me of the love for the guitar and it reminded me of the love I have… like a lover you must spend time together and discover each other… So I spend hours with the guitar in my hands going through everything I know and everything I don’t know. Trying, experimenting, creating little things…

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“You changed instruments? Where’s your bağlama?” Ahmet asked me as I was sitting outside playing. I’m sad about the bağlma, but here is not the place to play it. I am still waiting to hear about an apartment… If I get it, I will be able to start taking lessons and practice… here it’s kind of impossible as everyone starts talking to you asking what it is, wanting to try it, or jam or… with the guitar I can sort of vanish in full sight, playing quietly. That is a thing… People want you to perform for them. Show off… What I am doing is exploring, practicing, discovering, it’s a whole other world.

“I play tomorrow night at Atölye if you want to see me perform!” I say. Is it snob? It’s the thing about living in a public space. One must preserve one’s boundaries or be depleted.

***

a couple of weeks ago I was messaging a friend. I blurted out: “ j’ai plus peur de rien” I am not scared of anything anymore.

It surprised me. Am I boasting? High on some energy that makes me over confident? Nah. I’m not. I pondered the happenstance and I saw that something has clicked, grown, evolved following my Dalyan adventure and the ensuing hitchhiking on the Turkish roads, sweating in the sun carrying much more than possibly feasible over many kilometers, having no money, then the Yalova bath of Sufi energy and then the emotional rat’s nest I had enturbulated myself into. After all that, I was suddenly free of fear. I felt freshly sanded. Standing up, on this earth with nothing but the knowing that all is well. All is fine. All is actually incredibly beautiful.

***

Mesut had told me that he had twinned me with this cello player, Barış Güvenler.

“Oh I love cello, my sister is a cellist.” following that we had a first gig. Wow. Then a second. Oha… then a third. Oh My God! I was sitting on my chair, Barış to my right, we’re playing and in front of us the usual brouhaha of the bar was gone to be replaced by completely engaged faces, ears, peoples. A French woman started to speak loudly and a couple of faces turned, annoyed, then shushed her into silence. Wow.

The way I write music, there is ample space for other instruments, I tend to think music vertically, with parts and interplay and harmony, so when I meet people who have either orchestral or ensemble playing skills things get really lush and start to fly. I am so grateful for Barış, for this unexpected pairing. So tonight we play again. I am so very much looking forward to it.

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***

December. Uh? What? Danielle speaking of something more than a day or so ahead? Yes, December there is a plan in place. I unexpectedly booked a flight on December 23 to Amsterdam, Holland. I will meet a friend there and we will hitchhike together from The Hague to Porto, Portugal. We have two weeks. I plan to go to Carcassonne to see my friend Serge Andre, musician, composer, then the rest will be what happens. I am very excited by that. I will need to get some winter stuff. Boots, hat, coat. I’ll bring the guitar, hopefully I will find places to play… musicians to share the music with. From Porto, I am not sure what I will do, I have friends all over Europe now… it could be something to do, to go visit them. I also will need to go to California at some point… to handle some of my stuff there, it is unclear yet how I will do this or when but this ticket to Amsterdam it is bought. I am going.

***

Oh and it looks like my phone was located 🙂 I am very happy about that… we just have to be reunited. So that is about it my friends. All is well. Evolving, deploying, alive.

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2 Responses to “September 20th, an update”

  1. Erika Koenig-Workman Says:

    Me too Danielle xo xo

    Evolving, deploying alive 🙂

    I met a Acadian French Canadian
    Enjoying my time with him a lot!!

    I have written some poems on my fb page
    He is architect | shipbuilder | athlete

    Me like him very much ….

    French Canadians …. Trouble for sure !!

    E xo

    >


  2. yes, French Canadians, causing trouble since 1605!! 😉


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