Journeying

January 6, 2019

arabian

 

A new year. Yes, another one. I find that they go by but they don’t pile up, become burdensome. On December 7th I turned 55. 55… and it hit me as a kind of wondrous thing, all these experiences, all this living, so, so, so much living.  Some so intense and focused you could call them lifetimes.

My life, a funny zig zag of creative endeavors, road and adventures… I delved deeply in the horse world, the bicycle world, the motorcycle world… I am a rider.

I delved deeply into the songwriting, singing world, into the computer world, creating graphic images, I delved into sculpting stone, clay… drawing, painting…

I was married, been divorced, been in love, been a wife, been a lover, been a friend.

I have been a rocker, a singer songwriter, a composer, a guitar player, a performer.

I have been a gardener, an animal caretaker.

I have been a housewife and a vagabond, a nomad with no address, no money, no job.

I have been fed to satiation and been hungry without a crust to eat.

I have been injured, ill, concussed to the point where I would just fall down losing consciousness, I have been so strong I had a 110% lung capacity and physiology that was 20 years younger than my age at the time and could win time trials on a bicycle.

I worked with corporate dudes and with hippies.

I spend my life exploring.

At times now I wonder if I wasn’t a jack of all trades master of none.  My urge to create, to exist fully is what drives me to constantly experience more. This life is a wonder, at times I am blown away by the breadth of variety, experiences, avenues, environments, realities that exist side by side.  Just go to Pinterest and enter “birds” and you will be astounded by the endlessness of types of birds… things right out of the wildest imaginations…

At this point I am finding though that my quest is turning more and more towards the inside. Know thyself… it’s always been part of my search but as it deepens, I am drawn more and more towards the essence of what we are. I find that maybe I don’t know how to love… because of how much I can not love myself at times. Learn to love myself. As I learn to do that, layers of false data reveals itself. Mind blowing.

So the journey continues.

Much love.

One Response to “Journeying”

  1. Françoise Says:

    Tu es un vrai cadeau. Écris un livre quand tu peux. Ton dessin est remarquable! C’est puissant! Continue! Moi aussi, je ne suis pas appréciée comme il aurait fallu toutes ces années. Et comme toi, j’explore mon intérieur

    On s’en reparle. Bisousssss


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